Chapter 1
When the store’s electronic bell warbled, Ned Delahanty looked up from behind the counter where he stood counting cigarettes. The customer who entered the Quik N Go brought along a blast of cold air. The man didn’t bother to shut the door behind him, and a gust of snow blew in.
The customer was in his early thirties and had the self-important look of someone who grew up wealthy. His eyes carried too much confidence for a face filled with flaccid features. He wasn’t fat, but his pale skin hung loosely from his cheeks and his bulbous nose drooped as if from its own weight.
Next to Ned, an orange cat shifted its resting place on a nearby chair. He must have sensed the sudden entrance of cold air because his ears pulled back, and he tucked his head under Ned’s red winter coat, which rested over the back of the chair.
“Evening,” Ned said without breaking his count. Thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four…
The customer smirked as his gaze swept over the convenience store. He wore a blue winter coat, lighter blue snow pants, and a red knitted hat with a ridiculous fuzzy ball on top. Thick blue gloves covered his hands.
Advertisements for cigarettes, beer, and sodas littered the building’s large glass windows. All that visual clutter didn’t stop Ned from seeing the green Land Rover Defender parked near the front of the building. Its headlights blazed against the advertising clutter. Two pairs of snow skis were attached to its roof rack. A woman sat in the passenger seat with her head bowed as if she might be reading something. She wore a tan knit hat with a fuzzy ball on top.
The customer aggressively stamped the snow from his boots onto the front mat. The company’s bright orange and blue logo was mostly worn off from years of shuffling and stomping feet, and now the only thing left was a muddy Q Go.
The gas station’s illuminated pylon sign was barely discernible at the edge of the parking lot, and heavy snowfall obscured the company’s logo. The lower sign announced Available bungalows for rent! Cheap! but was wholly unreadable from the store.
There were five units in the back, and Ned lived in one. The other four hadn’t rented since he started working there. That no longer surprised him since the units weren’t visible from the highway. With a ski resort forty-five minutes north and another an hour beyond that, folks simply drove by to the nicer accommodations.
When the customer finished clearing the snow from his boots, he studied Ned. He slipped off his gloves and jerked his head toward the front windows. “You should clear the sidewalk. It’s treacherous.”
Ned finished his tally, jotted the number onto a nearby notepad, and leaned onto the counter.
“The snow is coming down something fierce.” The customer motioned toward the window again. “Look at that.”
Great White’s “Once Bitten” played through a pair of tinny speakers mounted at opposite ends of the shop. Ned knew the song intimately from its repeated playing on this radio station.
The customer indignantly brushed the snow away from his shoulders. The powder fell beyond the mat to the store’s linoleum floor. “Hey, bud, did you hear me? Are you deaf or something?” The man scrunched his face and looked toward the speakers. “And what’s with this old fogey music?”
“Something you looking for?” Ned put the cigarettes under the counter.
The customer rolled his eyes as he approached. The soles of his boots squeaked with each step. “Did you hear what I said about the sidewalk?”
Ned stood on his tiptoes and looked outside. The snow was accumulating fast. It appeared there might be close to more than six inches on the sidewalk now. He dropped to his regular height. “It can wait.”
The man’s eyes widened. “That’s a blizzard out there, and you’ve got paying customers showing up.” He tapped his chest. “You saw me slip—right?”
Ned shook his head. “You didn’t slip.”
“I almost did.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I could have.”
Ned raised his eyebrows.
The customer pointed outside. “Didn’t anyone teach you about limiting potential risk hazards?”
“No.” Ned motioned toward the shovel near the front door. “But help yourself.”
The customer eyed the yellow plastic tool, then pulled back in mock horror. “Me?”
“If it bothers you so much.”
“But it’s not my job.”
“So?”
“So?” The man’s voice rose dramatically. “So?” Now, he tapped his chest with both hands. “I’m the customer.”
“What’s that got to do with it?”
“I’m always right.”
Ned smirked. “Not here.”
“Most definitely here.” The man looked around the store. “You should treat me like gold. It doesn’t look like you’re brimming with customers.”
Ned shrugged. “We’re doing all right.”
The man’s shoulders slumped. “Listen, bud. Even in the middle of nowhere, the customer is always right. That’s what they teach guys with an MBA.” He set his hand over his heart and tried to affect a look of humility. It melted into a glare of derision. “Maybe you missed that in business school.”
Ned put his notepad and pencil away.
“You know what else they taught us in business school?” The customer turned toward the shovel, and his shoes gleefully squeaked. “MBAs don’t shovel anything.”
“They shovel something,” Ned muttered.
“What’d you say?”
“Nothing.”
The customer pointed at the shovel. “That, my friend, is a tool for guys without a high school diploma.”
Ned straightened to his full height, which was several inches taller than the customer. He crossed his thick arms over his chest. The man’s attention was drawn to the inky ball of fire on the back of Ned’s right hand. It seemed to disappear underneath the long-sleeve t-shirt that Ned wore.
The customer’s gaze traveled up to Ned’s scowl. He nervously chuckled. “Heh-heh, but college isn’t for everyone. Am I right?”
Ned cocked his head.
“Everyone’s got a different route to success.” The customer flashed a grin filled with perfectly white teeth. “You know what? We’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. Forget the snow.” The customer waved at the window. “My name’s Donovan.” He took another couple of squeaky steps forward and extended his hand. When Ned didn’t shake it, the man giggled uncertainly. “Totally understand. People come to Eagle’s Feet to ski, right? If they can’t handle the snow, that’s their problem.” Donovan eyed the storm outside, then stood on his tiptoes. His boots squeaked again. “I say leave the sidewalk as it is. It adds to the ambiance.” Donovan dropped to his regular height and put his hands on his hips. He nodded approvingly. “Now that I think about it, the snow on the sidewalk is perfect.”
Ned repeated his earlier question. “Something you looking for?”
Donovan’s smile faltered, and he turned to Ned. He scratched his neck when he asked, “The restroom?”
“Paying customers only.”
“But we don’t need gas.” The guy pointed to the Land Rover. “It’s a hybrid with insane gas mileage.” He spread his arms wide and drew out the word ‘insane’ in the way a used car salesman might. Donovan smiled, and a look of piousness flashed over his face. “It’s the least we could do for the environment.”
“I’m sure.”
Donovan started to say something but stopped. His mouth slowly hung open, and his brow furrowed.
“Store policy.” Ned pointed to a nearby sign. It read Restroom for Paying Customers ONLY. No exceptions. “You don’t need to buy gas. Anything will do.”
Donovan nodded knowingly. “You’re extorting the customers.”
Ned shrugged.
“But in a nice way.” Donovan cleared his throat. “I get it. Are you sure you didn’t go to business school? You’re a natural.” He bent to inspect the various food items along the front counter shelf. “What do we have here?” he said to himself.
Displayed were miscellaneous candy bars, donuts, gum, and nuts.
Overhead, the music ended, and a cheerful announcer interrupted. “All right, all right, how about that sweet classic, dudes and dudettes? That’s when metal was bodacious and smelled of hairspray. What a totally fantastic time! This is Headbanger Harv, and I’ll be rocking you into the morning on Classic 106.9 FM.”
Donovan smirked disapprovingly. “Metal,” he muttered.
“Now the news.” The announcer cleared his throat and adopted a serious tone. “Officials in Casper continue to interview witnesses in the daring robbery of the National Bank of Wyoming. Details are vague. No reports on how much money was stolen and no suspect descriptions have been provided as of yet.” Headbanger Harv’s tone switched back to playful. “Lame. The cops are really on top of that one. Hello, McFly? Let’s see if they can get us any more details before tomorrow. Let’s forget all that with this radical rip from Trixter!”
A guitar riff pierced the store’s quiet, and Donovan grimaced. Ned was about to agree with his assessment of the band, but the man motioned toward the shelf full of goodies.
“What’s with this garbage? It’s all sugar and wheat except the nuts but imagine the calories that those have.” He flicked his hand at the shelf’s contents. “We can’t eat any of this. What do we look like—animals?” Donovan lifted his chin in the direction of the sleeping tom. “Would you let your cat eat this junk?”
“He eats mice.”
Donovan’s face soured. “You get what I’m saying.”
“Don’t buy anything,” Ned said. “The mountain is forty-five minutes away.”
“Not in this weather.” Donovan turned toward the window. “With this snow, it’s gonna take forever. I’m afraid they might even close it.”
“They can close a mountain?”
Donovan eyed him suspiciously. “The whole highway, too. How do you not know this?”
Ned shrugged. “Head back to Casper then. It’s flat the entire way. Should be easy.”
The customer danced an impatient jig. “The roads are still gonna be slow, and that manhunt is underway. The cops will be everywhere.” As an afterthought, he added, “No, thank you.”
Ned stared at him.
Donovan’s shoulders wriggled back and forth. “C’mon, bud. Cut me some slack—just this once.”
“If I do it for you...”
The customer leaned in, but Ned hadn’t intended to finish his thought.
“Yeah?” Donovan asked. “If you do it for me?”
“I’d have to do it for everybody.”
“What’s wrong with that?” His finger flicked the sign. “That rule is stupid and only intended to stop the poor from using the restroom.”
“You’re not poor.”
Donovan appeared offended, and he stopped his little dance. “How do you know? You don’t.” His face scrunched with righteous indignation. “You’re judging me, and that’s not right. You’re customer profiling without verifiable data. You should know better. You work for a Fortune 500 company, and your actions reflect directly upon your employer.”
Ned wanted to point out that anyone driving a new Land Rover to a Wyoming ski resort while bragging about an MBA wasn’t likely to be poor. Instead, he said, “Using our restroom doesn’t pay the bills.”
“Sweet lord, bud. It’s a restroom.” Donovan threw his hands into the air. “It’s not like it’s a private viewing room at the Louvre.”
Ned had no idea where the Louvre was, but he’d heard of private viewing rooms at other strip clubs. He pointed at the nearby sign and repeated the store’s policy. “Paying customers only.”
“That so?” Donovan’s head bobbed from left to right.
“What’s stopping me from walking back there right now and using it? What are you gonna do about it?”
“Nothing.”
The customer laughed confidently and backpedaled a few squeaky steps. “So you realize how stupid and unenforceable your rule is?”
“It’s locked,” Ned said. “You need a key.”
Donovan’s expression flattened, and he returned to the counter like a chastised child. “Why didn’t you say so from the beginning?” He reconsidered the shelf of goodies. He grabbed a bag of peanuts and slapped them onto the counter. “I’ll take these.”
Ned entered the item into the cash register and announced a total.
“Only in America,” Donovan said, “can a man be held hostage by the proletariat just to use the restroom.” He pulled out his wallet, then slipped a black credit card from its resting spot. He proudly held up the small piece of plastic and waved it back and forth. “Ever see one of these?”
Ned pointed to another handwritten sign—Cash only for purchases under five dollars.
Donovan snatched his credit card back and hollered, “You gotta be kidding!” His face reddened. “You’re only doing this to—”
“Watch it,” Ned said. He pointed to yet one more sign—No Swearing.
“Are you for real? I gotta pay to use the restroom, and I can’t swear in here? Who died and made you king?”
“Store policy.”
Donovan frowned. He angrily marched to the front door. He put his hand on the horizontal handle but looked back to Ned. “I’m dying here, bud. Please.”
Ned stared at him.
“A person can develop long-term, serious side-effects from not using a bathroom on time.”
“I’ve heard.”
“You don’t care.” Donovan let go of the door, and his eyes narrowed. “It’s because I complained about the sidewalks, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I said—”
“I know what you said.” He motioned toward the signs again. “Store policy.”
Donovan grunted once, then hurried toward the coolers. A moment later, he returned to the counter with four bottles of water. At the counter, he plonked them down. “This is the least offensive thing in this store.”
“Present company included,” Ned said.
“Right.” Donovan’s head popped up. “Wait. What?”
Ned rang the first bottle of water up.
The customer grabbed one of the bottles. As he did so, he shuffled from one foot to the other. “We gotta be extra careful, so this plastic doesn’t end up in the ocean.”
Ned tapped the enter button on the register to repeat the transaction.
“Because that happens, you know?” Donovan’s gyrations continued as he waggled a plastic bottle for Ned to see. “There’s this massive ball of plastic out in the Pacific and—”
Ned’s finger hovered over the cash register as he stared at the customer.
“Why did you stop?” Donovan’s dance intensified. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He set down the water bottle and put both hands on the counter’s edge. “My kidneys are under duress.”
Ned tapped the enter button twice more. When he finished totaling the waters up, he pointed at the bag of nuts. “Still want the peanuts?”
“No, I don’t want them.” Donovan angrily slid the bag to the side. “I never wanted them. What is your problem?”
“If you don’t get them, the total doesn’t come to five, and you can’t—”
“I’ll take the peanuts!” Donovan slid the small bag back toward the bottles. “What’s the total now?”
Ned announced the amount, and Donovan jammed his credit card into the processing machine.
“What’s taking so long?” He shuffled from side to side. “This thing on dial-up or something?”
“Probably the weather.”
The machine beeped its acceptance of the credit card, and relief flooded Donovan’s face. He held out his hand. “The key. Let’s go.”
Ned ripped off the receipt and handed it to Donovan. “The restroom’s out of order.”
The customer’s face whitened. “What?”
“It broke yesterday.”
Donovan ran to the rear of the store. His boots chirped across the linoleum floor as he went. When he reached the restroom door, he stopped and stared at it. “You gotta be kidding me!”
Ned knew what Donovan was looking at since he’d placed the out-of-order sign there last night. A piece inside the toilet had broken, and he hadn’t had a chance to go to Casper for a replacement part.
“What’s wrong with you?” the customer hollered. As he hurried back toward Ned, Donovan said, “You couldn’t have told me this when I walked in?”
“I could have, but you wanted to complain about the snow.”
Donovan stopped and clenched his fists. “I knew this was about the sidewalks!” He glanced frantically around. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“You can rent one of the bungalows.”
The customer’s face widened with surprise. “An upsell? Now?” He grunted an expletive as he headed for the door.
Ned tapped the No Swearing sign, figuring that verbally correcting the man at the moment might be bad form.
Donovan yanked open the door. Another blast of cold air entered the store. “Shovel the stupid sidewalks!” A gust of snow blew across the entry mat.
“Don’t forget your waters,” Ned said pleasantly.
“I never wanted them in the first place!”
“Want me to refund the purchase? It should only take a couple minutes, but I don’t really know for sure. I’ve never done one before.”
Donovan muttered a second expletive as more snow floated into the store. The man stepped outside and angrily clomped his way toward his Land Rover. Just as he turned to yell at Ned through the window, his feet slipped out from underneath him, and he fell.
Ned stood on his tiptoes to look out the window. Donovan lay prostrate in the snow. The guy had been right. The sidewalk was treacherous. Perhaps Ned should go out and shovel it.
Donovan hurriedly stood and brushed the snow from his clothes. Then he angrily shook his fist at Ned. Standing in the storm while illuminated by his vehicle’s headlights, Donovan looked like a performer in some strange music video. It didn’t hurt that a bad eighties rock song continued to play through the store’s speakers like a soundtrack.
The woman in the Land Rover yelled something to Donovan, and he stopped shaking his fist. After he climbed into the vehicle, it backed away from the building. The SUV pulled out of the lot, entered the highway, and headed north.
Ned watched it disappear into the blizzard. He thought about driving into the snowstorm. “Better him than me.”
